For Callie

Say their name and look for their light.

Hello Love,

This one is going to be a little different today.

I’m writing this with a full heart and wet eyes, because today would have been my goddaughter Callie’s 24th birthday. We lost her a week ago after she fought brain cancer with more grace and grit than I can put into words. And today, we’re celebrating her life.

So this letter is for her.

Callie Roberts. I’m going to say your name as many times as I can. I hope you’ll let yourself do the same for anyone you’ve loved and lost. Say their name. Say it out loud. It keeps them close, and it keeps them real, and that matters more than people tell you.

Here’s what I know about grief: all of it is okay. The crying in the car, the laughing at a memory that comes out of nowhere, the anger, the quiet, the not knowing what to do with your hands or that anger. There is no wrong way to feel it. You just have to let it be felt. You can’t numb it away. I know, I have tried. It is only temporary relief from our suffering. Tears and laughter and movement. That is how we process our grief.

And here’s something I want to offer, especially to Callie’s beautiful tribe of friends and her family, at an age when loss feels impossible. Talk to her. Ask her for signs that she’s still with you, and then stay open to receive them. One of my dearest friends Taryn, another honorary aunt who loved Callie, received a sign just yesterday. A sign she asked for. I believe in this with my whole heart.

Katie, Dale, and Colby: she is still yours. She is the very best of you, and she is still with you. Watch for her.

Life is precious, and nothing is promised. I mean that in the realist way I know how. Callie lived that truth and continues to teach us that. Callie loved big; she received big; and as Callie’s soul left her body, she was surrounded by so much love that it was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed in my 50 years on this planet.

That’s the thing about loving big. In the end, you get exactly what you give.

So today, on her birthday, go love somebody big. Tell them. Show them. Be beautifully extra about it.

That’s how we celebrate Callie today on her birthday and every day moving forward.

Happy birthday, sweet girl. I will love you forever.

Aunt Jodie